Assorted

Shortly after just landing at a big international airport in his Cessna 150, our hero strolls into the busy airport cafeteria for a bite to eat. He finds an empty table by the window to keep an eye on the airport comings and goings.

Shortly thereafter, a striking woman walks up and asks to share his table. Naturally, he invites her to sit down. After several minutes of small talk, the woman asks if he is a pilot. He responds, "Why, yes, I am -- I fly a C-150."

Knowing next to nothing about airplanes, she asks him what a C-150 is. The pilot looks out the window and spots a C-130 Hercules taxing out for takeoff. Pointing to it, he tells his companion, "See that plane over there? That is a C-130. I fly a C-150!"

 

Courtesy of the BBC

"Israeli premier Ehud Barak escaped unhurt when a jet carrying him and his party was in collision with a baggage truck on the tarmac at Manchester airport.

The Israeli Air Force Boeing 707 was maneuvering during a refueling stop when the accident happened late on Thursday night. Mr. Barak's senior policy adviser, Danny Yatom said: 'It is good that it happened on the ground and not in the air.'"

 

This exchange took place shortly after this year's Edwards AFB airshow.

Controller to F-117 stealth fighter: "Traffic is an F-16, two o'clock, 13 miles, southbound, climbing thru 6,000."

F-117 pilot: "Acquired and tracking..."

Controller to F-16: "Traffic is an F-117, two o'oclock, 12 miles, opposite direction, level 5."

F-16 pilot: "Roger, tracking..."

F-117 pilot (without missing a beat and in a monotone): "Bull****"

 

Apparently, an owner of an Aztec in Africa had an engine problem in some rather remote location and was considering trying to take off and fly the airplane on one engine to a maintenance base. The message he sent to Piper's engineering department ended with the question, "How long will it take to take off on one engine?"

This request for information made its rounds within engineering until it got to the Aztec project engineer who replied, "Ask him if he wants that in miles or months."

 

This happened in 1979.

I was working the ground control position at Patrick AFB, Fla.

A flight of two A-4s was parked on the north ramp, preparing to return to Navy JAX. Lead checked in and requested his clearance be put on request. I said, "Clearance on request and monitor ATIS 273.5 prior to taxi."

When the flight was ready to taxi he said, "We tried contacting ATIS but couldn't get a word in edgewise."

 

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