McDonnell Douglas Warrenty

This allegedly was posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas website by an employee there who obviously had a sence of humour..............The company didn't, and it was removed shortly afterwards.

Thank you for purchacing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warrenty registration card below. Answering the survey questionaire is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.

 

1. Status
           
. [ ] Mr [ ]Mrs [ ] Ms [ ] Miss [ ] Lt [ ] Gen

 

 

[ ] Comrade [ ] Classified [ ] Other
     
First Name...................... Initials.................. Last Name........................ Password (max 5 char).........
       
Code Name..................... Latitude................. Longitude......................... Altitude...................................

 

2. Which model aircraft did you purchase

     
 
[ ] F-14 Tomcat

[ ] F-15 Eagle

[ ] F- 16 Falcon

[ ] F - 117A Stealth

[ ] Classified

 

3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day) ......../......../........

 

4. Serial Number........................................

 

5. Please indicate where this product was purchased

 

[ ] Received as a gift / Aid package [ ] Catalogue [ ] Showroom

[ ] Mail order

[ ] Discount store

[ ] Government surplus

[ ] Classified

 

6. Please indicate how you became aware of this McDonnell Douglas product you have just purcased

 

[ ] Heard loud noise, looked up [ ] Store display [ ] Espionage

[ ] Recommended by friend / relative / ally

[ ] Political lobbying by manufacturer

[ ] Was attacked by one

 

7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that most influenced your decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product

 

[ ] Style / appearance [ ] Speed / maneuverability [ ] Price / value [ ] Comfort / convenience

[ ] Kickback / bribe

[ ] Recommended by sales person

{ ] McDonnell Douglas reputation

[ ] Advanced weapons systems



[ ] Backroom Politics

[ ] Negative experience opposing one in combat

 

8. Please indicate the location(s) where this product will be used

 

[ ] North America { ] Iraq [ ] Iran [ ] Aircraft carrier { ] Iraq

[ ] Europe

[ ] Iraq

[ ] Middle East (not Iraq)

[ ] Iraq

[ ] Africa

[ ] Iraq

[ ] Asia / Far East

[ ] Iraq

[ ] Misc 3rd world

[ ] Iraq

[ ] Classified
.
[ ] Iraq

 

9. Please indicate the products that you currently own or intend to purchase in the near future

 

[ ] Colour TV [ ] VCR [ ] ICBM [ ] Killer satellite

[ ] CD Player

[ ] Air-to-Air missile

[ ] Space Shuttle

[ ] Home computer
 

[ ] Nuclear weapon
 

 

10. How would you describe yourself or your organisation? (Indicate all that apply)

 

[ ] Communist / Socialist [ ] Terrorist [ ] Crazed [ ] Neutral

[ ] Demorcratic

[ ] Dictatorship

[ ] Corrupt

[ ] Primive / Tribal

 

11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product ?

 

[ ] Deficit spending [ ] Cash [ ] Suitcase of cocaine [ ] Oil revenues

[ ] Personal cheque

[ ] Credit card

[ ] Ransom money

[ ] Travelers cheque

 

12. Your occupation

 

[ ] Homemaker [ ] Sales / Marketing [ ] Revolutionary [ ] Clerical

[ ] Mercenary

[ ] Tyrant

[ ] Middle management

[ ] Eccentric billionaire

[ ] Defence Minister

[ ] General

[ ] Retired

[ ] Student

 

13. To help us better understand our customers, please indicate the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis

 

[ ] Golf [ ] Boating / sailing [ ] Sabotage [ ] Running / jogging

[ ] Propaganda / missinformation

[ ] Destabilisation / overthrow

[ ] Default on loans

[ ] Gardening

[ ] Crafts

[ ] Black market / smuggling

[ ] Collectibles / collections

[ ] Watching sport on TV

[ ] Wines

[ ] Interrogation / torture

[ ] Household pets

[ ] Crushing rebellions

[ ] Espionage / recooaissance

[ ] Fashion clothing

[ ] Border disputes

[ ] Mutually assured destruction

 

Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future, as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups and mysterious consortia.

As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will be registered to win a brand new F-117A in our
Desert Thunder Sweepstake.

 

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