You are one of *two* people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one parachute. How would you react?
Pessimist: You refuse the parachute because you might die on the jump anyway.
Optimist: You refuse the parachute because people have survived crashes just like this before.
Procrastinator: You play a game of Monopoly for the parachute.
Bureaucrat: You order them to conduct a feasibility study on parachute use in multi-engine aircraft under code red conditions.
Lawyer: You charge one parachute for helping them sue the airline.
Doctor: You tell them you need to run more tests, then take the parachute in order to make your next appointment.
Sales executive: You sell them the parachute at top retail rates and get the names of their friends and relatives who might like one too.
Inland Revenue Service: You confiscate the parachute along with their luggage, wallet, and gold fillings.
Engineer: You make them another parachute out of aisle curtains and dental floss.
Scientist: You give them the parachute and ask them to send you a report on how well it worked.
Mathematician: You refuse to accept the parachute without proof that it will work in all cases.
Philosopher: you ask how they know the parachute actually exists.
English Degree: You explicate simile and metaphor in the parachute instructions.
Computer Science: You design a machine capable of operating a parachute as well as a human being could.
Economics: You plot a demand curve by asking them, at regular intervals, how much they would pay for a parachute.
Psychoanalysis: You ask them what the shape of a parachute reminds them of.
Drama: You tie them down so they can watch you develop the character of a person stuck on a falling plane without a parachute.
Art: You hang the parachute on the wall and sign it.
Environmentalist: You refuse to use the parachute unless it is biodegradable.
Sports Fan: You start betting on how long it will take to crash.
Auto Mechanic: As long as you are looking at the plane engine, it works fine.
Surgeon General: You issue a warning that skydiving can be hazardous to your health.
Association of Tobacco Growers: You explain very patiently that despite a number of remarkable coincidences, studies have shown that jumping out of a plane is NOT harmful to your health.
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