A Few Good Captains

To be read with a Jack Nicholson voice.......(as in 'A Few Good Men')


Captain: "You want answers?"

Chief Pilot: "I think we are entitled"

Captain: "You want answers!"

Chief Pilot: "I want the truth!"

Captain: "You can't handle the truth!!!" "We live in a world that requires revenue. That revenue must be flown by people with elite skills. Who's going to do it? You, Mr CEO? You Mr. Finance? You, Ms. Human Resources? We have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You scoff at the line pilots and you curse our mediocre incentives. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what we know. And my very existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, drives REVENUE! You don't want to know the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at staff meetings, you want me in that airplane. You NEED me in that airplane!!

We use words like working radar, good weather, on time departures, airworthiness, upgrades, commuting, another round, medium-rare, on-the-rocks, Cohiba. We use these words as the backbone of all Professional Aviation. You use them as a punch line! I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to people who rise and sleep under the very blanket of service I provide and then question the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you
just said "thank you" and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a flight bag. Either way, I don't give a dam what you think you're entitled to!"

Chief Pilot: "Did you expense the lap dancers?"

Captain: "I did the job I was hired to do."

Chief Pilot: "Did you expense the lap dancers?!"

Captain: "You're goddamn right I did!


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