Aer Lingus

(Please read in an Irish accent)

An Aer Lingus flight was just coming into land. At the helm in the cockpit was Paddy O'Shaunessey the Pilot, and Seamus Kavanagh the co-pilot. As they approached the airport, they looked out the front window.

" B'Jasus " said Paddy "Will ye look at how short dat runway is".

"You're not kiddin', Paddy" replied Seamus .

"Dis is gonna be one a' de trickiest landings you're ever gonna see" said Paddy.

"Aye, you're not kiddin' again neither, Paddy" replied Seamus .

"Right Seamus" said Paddy, "When I give de signal, you put de engines in reverse."

"Right, I'll be doing dat" replied Seamus .

"And den ye put de flaps down straight away" said Paddy.

"Right, I'll be doing dat" replied Seamus .

"And den ye stamp on dem brakes as hard as ye can" said Paddy.

"Right, I'll be doing dat" replied Seamus .

"And den ye pray to de Mother Mary with all a' your soul" said Paddy.

"I be doing dat already" replied Seamus .

So they approached the runway with Paddy and Seamus full of nerves and with sweaty palms. As soon as the wheels hit the ground, Seamus put the engines in reverse, put the flaps down, stamped on the brakes and prayed to Mother Mary with all of his soul.

Amidst roaring engines, squealing of tyres and lots of smoke, the plane screeched to a halt centimetres from the end of the runway, much to the relief of Paddy and Seamus and everyone on board.

As they sat in the cockpit regaining their composure, Paddy looked out the front window and said to Seamus , "Dat has gotta be de shortest runway I have EVER seen in me whole life."

Seamus looked out the side window and replied, "Yeah Paddy, but will you look how fookin' wide it is!"


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