Dear Customer

Thank you for choosing Brianair

In our commitment to offering you the lowest price possible - which means taking food out of our employees mouths and sending our company into Chapter 11 - we will continue to offer you unrealistic prices so you can still fly transcontinentally for £50 each way. What a bargain!

However, please understand that certain fees must be assessed in order for us to save you money. In accordance with the rules of the new aviation department, the Federal Aviation and Transportation Airline Security Services (FATASS), we are required to list to you the fees you will be charged when you arrive at the airport and on the plane:

Visiting our website: £5

If you wish to avoid this fee and call our phone reservation system, the fee will be £10.

Changes to tickets are not allowed once purchased. Should you need to make a change to your ticket, there is a £100 cancellation fee, and then an entirely new ticket must be purchased.

If you wish to avoid this fee and actually have a human being check you in, the fee will be £25.

Each piece of hand-carried luggage: £25

Luggage-free access to planes: £12

Jetway access fee: £25 Please note: This fee is charged at both your starting point and your ending point.

If you wish to avoid this fee, grappling hooks are available to climb up from the ground level.

The rental fee is £5, with a mandatory £20 insurance fee in case the hook damages the plane.

Seat access fee: £15

Should you desire to avoid this fee and be a standee for the flight, there is a fee of £5.

However, please be forewarned, there is a £10 fine for each time you block access to the aisle or a flight attendant.

To access the overhead bins above your seat, slide your credit card for a small payment of £2.50, and place your item in the overhead.

Each additional time you need to access this, it will be £2.50.

This includes when you have arrived at your destination.Lavatory fee: £5 per visit.

Should you try and avoid this fee and have an accident, there is a £20 cleaning fee for every soiled seat.

For fresh air from the vents, the fee is £0.50 per minute.

For the reading light, the fee is £1 per minute.

For using your own flashlight, there is a £2 darkness convenience fee.

Seat belts can be locked and unlocked for free only one time. Each additional time you need to un-buckle and re-buckle, the fee is £2.50.

Water, coffee, and tea are available for £2.50. No free refills.

We do not charge for you to bring your own liquids on the plane; however, you probably paid just as much at one of the airport gift shops, so no loss for us.

Food is available for £5.

There is a £2 charge for eating your own food, and a £15 clean-up fee should you spill anything, whether it is your food or ours.

Luggage Carousel useage fee: £5.

This will be assessed whether your luggage arrives or not.

We remain committed to providing you with the lowest fares inhumanly possible, and hope that you adjust easily to the convenience fees that we are implementing.

If you have any ideas as to how we can assist you further, or wish to register a complaint, please submit £25 and send your letter to:

Customer Relations Department
P.O. Box 666

Or use our convenient e-mail system

Be sure you have your credit card ready, as there is a £10 e-mail fee for each letter.

Thanks again for flying the happy skies!!



Fleet Listings | Previous Updates | Queries | Scanner Frequencies | Aviation Fact | Aviation Humour | Acknowledgements | Links
Home | Sign Guestbook | View Guestbook