PA Announcements 2

The following are genuine PA announcements heard onboard aircraft.

After a particularly rough landing during a thunderstorm in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced: "Please take care when opening the overhead lockers, because after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted".

An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his aircraft onto the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the First Officer to stand at the door whilst the passengers disembarked, smile and give them a "thanks for flying XYZ airlines". He said that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally, everyone had got off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said "Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?". "Why no Ma'am" said the First Officer "what is it?". To which the little old lady replied "did we land, or were we shot down?".

"We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurised metal tube, we hope you'll think of us here at US Airways".


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